you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
