I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
