Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
