I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize