More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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