Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
