Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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