You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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