Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
