You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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