u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
