true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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