I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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