I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
only you would photoshop your dick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
