Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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