If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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