You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
