I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
