I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
