in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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