Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just cropdusted the office
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
