I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
