So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
