whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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