The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
