so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize