is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
