it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
