he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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