it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
