Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
