So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
