FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
