Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
