I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Never underestimate the power of titties
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