This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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