we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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