Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
