please come you make the beer taste better
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
