you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
