Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
