You're completely useless in the revolution.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
