used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
