I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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