Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
be right there i have to get my cape
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
