Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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