Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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