Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
