Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
