Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
