he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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