We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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