One girl and one boy is just not enough.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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