Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
