census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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