I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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