It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize