She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
