You work out of a Hotel?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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